It's probably fair to say that I've not exactly felt constructive today, to be honest even my most avid attempts at uni work and lesson planning make George W Bush look like a candidate for Mensa. So far today I've found myself distracted more times than Tiger Woods at an Ann Summers do. I've taken an extra long shower (though living in Bury that's almost a daily necessity), played GTA4, lounged around a bit then taken the single longest lunch break since the creation of builders.
So why can't I just crack on like a good student and finish my damn work? Well, it's been half-term this week and everyone knows that half-term is both a blessing and a well disguised curse. It has been nothing short of awesome to get to spend some time relaxing, visit my girlfriend down in the Forest of Birmingham (Shropshire), and hook up with my bandmates, without worrying about the ever growing mountain of paperwork just sitting on my 'desk' at home. (I say desk, it's more like a corner unit.. OK, it's the floor). However, this past week has also reminded me of just what I've been missing out on the past few months. For sure, I didn't get onto the course I'm doing now by slacking and I've definitely no aversion to putting in some hard graft when it's called for, but just how many times must I write the same thing in different assignments or tick the same boxes on a lesson plan form just for the sake of some Stasi-esque drone with a slightly unhealthy obsession for precision-filing..
I'm a student teacher (Note to self: Write blog properly next time), which is widely regarded as being one of the most difficult years of a teaching career. First of all, you walk in knowing virtually nothing about the profession or journey on which you are about to embark. Second, for each lesson you have to go out and find/edit/tweak/re-find/re-edit/re-tweak any resources/handouts etc you want to use whereas in future years you will have built up a good collection. Thirdly, and possibly the most frustratingly is that this year's success relies heavily on the successful communication between your university of choice and the placement in which you are situated, to ensure that both sides know the deal and can guide you through the year.
Now Step 1 and 2 are what you walk in and expect, because let's face it, there's no free ride in life. That much I can accept, so I got into this year knowing for sure that this was gonna be a hard 12 months or so. However, what I didn't expect is the total lack of communication between my uni and my placement. It's like the two are completely oblivious to each other's existence. My uni only provided training for my mentor the evening before my first observation (which my uni tutor turned up late to, though that's another story) as they neglected to email the previous training dates to him until AFTER the date had passed...for reasons that I'm sure are very valid), my placement only found out I was staying for the rest of the year the last day before half term, I'm STILL waiting on feedback from my last observation to be posted to me so I can complete my assignment for the ever looming deadline (the tutor concerned has now stopped replying to my emails asking...OK telling her to hurry the fuck up). I'm applying for jobs for next year now, and said tutor also offered to help me with the vital personal statement..so far those emails appear to have disappeared into the ether as well...it's almost endless.
When I arrived on the course I quickly overheard that there would be too many students for the number of placements available, hence why I hopped on my placement off my own back..because that's the only way I was ever getting a placement. However it would have been nice for them to have been sent all the paperwork from my university explaining who I was and why I was there. Luckily I got round this because I attended the college myself as a student, so one of the members of staff knew me personally, but what the hell was I meant to do otherwise? Convince them I was actually here to learn to teach and not some sort of paedophile with an unhealthy interest in Psychology students in particular..? All this has led almost inevitably to me becoming more disillusioned with the profession than I ever thought possible.. before I get any responses (pfft...like I'll get responses) about paperwork being a part of the teaching job, let me remind you I'm not averse to that at all. My main issue with the paperwork involved is that most of it is university based (OK, still no problem..) and essentially repeats itself to different assignments (reason? *shrug*). I never once got onto this course thinking it would be anything other than one of the most difficult academic years I've ever done, but never once did I think I'd feel so let down by the university establishment supposedly 'providing training for my future'..
Right, rant over. Hence why half-term has been so much of a culture-shock.. It's been an amazing feeling to be surrounded by competency once more, and people who genuinely show not only some interest but don't appear to be some sort of epic mental meltdown. (The days that stand out are a trip to Leeds, surprise-visiting Bec for Valentine's Day and Wednesday's awesome band practice). I guess my procrastinating today stems from the sheer hatred of the thought that I'm about to embark on another 5 weeks of the above situation, knowing that though several complaints have already been filed any murmur of distain will only be granted a 'We're looking into this. Thanks for your concern..'
Surely it has to be easier to make it as a musician somehow...
'Signing out'
Sandlefish
Next Blog: Something more constructive..
EDIT: Uni tutor actually rang just a few minutes after posting this (coincidence?), though is now embarking on a search of her office for my observation feedback (guess that would explain why I didn't get it in the post then..)
SECOND EDIT: This is now my email inbox post-Blogger rant. =D
